The Girl With The Pink Sneakers

Well hello there blog! With all the new things to learn as a new mom I must say my blog has been the farthest thing from my mind! I keep wanting to update but when I do have a free chunk of time my priorities are sleep, eating, or showering!

It should be noted that I started to write this blog on Wednesday when I “thought” I had a pretty good handle on understanding Hunter’s cues and needs but then YESTERDAY happened! I think/hope he was going through a growth spurt. He wanted to eat every two hours and would barely sleep for more than 30 minutes. He would wake up howling! It was terrible! Not to mention it started the night before so I was pretty much a walking zombie! Brian took over last night and got Hunter to sleep for two hours so I could get some rest. After that he seemed to mellow out and today is going much better!

I can not believe that it has been 1 month since my little angel was born. I also can’t believe that I have been living with and adjusting to a newborn for that amount of time. Honestly it’s hard to remember what life was like before Hunter came along. I can honestly say that things have gotten better since my last update. Mostly the feeding issue has gotten better. It was shortly after my two week post that I weaned Hunter off the nipple shield, he went in for his two week appointment, and had reached his birth weight. At that point I stopped pumping which saved a lot of time and frustration. I also stopped waking him up at night to eat. I still try to keep his day time feedings to no more than 3 hours a part, sometimes he wants to eat more frequently which I am more than happy to do! I let him tell me when he’s hungry at night and SOMETIMES we get a 4 hour stretch of sleep! We go in to the doctor next Monday for his 1 month appointment, I am hoping he has gained even more weight, he seems to be filling out to me!

3 Weeks Old and not happy about having his picture taken!

1 Month Old! Wow! Same shirt as last week! I’ll explain our sudden lack of clothing later!

I am also learning that Hunter is the one who directs my days. We don’t have a set schedule per say but he generally wakes up to eat and get a diaper change, then he is alert for awhile and I play with him, talk to him, maybe change a diaper and then he gets tired again and goes down for a nap. In theory, during the day, this little process would repeat every three hours but that is not always how it goes. I was really hoping to get back to my favorite yoga class on Wednesdays at noon and Grandma and Grandpa Johnson offered to come over and watch Hunter. BUT after kind of a rough night ( had a hard time getting him to sleep and getting up more than once to eat) and kind of a cranky morning I was pretty sure it wouldn’t happen. Sure enough Hunter FINALLY went down for a GOOD nap at 10:00am. I knew he SHOULD wake up at 12:00pm in which case I couldn’t go to class because he would need to eat. But he MIGHT wake up before in which case I could go. But I knew for SURE I wouldn’t wake him up before that! I find if he naps well during the day he sleeps better at night. I know that doesn’t really make sense but so far that’s what I am observing.

Some other things I’m learning: just because a piece of baby clothing says it’s a certain size doesn’t mean it will fit your baby! We are having an unusually warm March here, we’ve hit record highs for several days now with temperatures in the 70’s and 80’s! While this had been awesome for getting out for a walk with Hunter but my wardrobe for Hunter seems to be lacking. Most people gave us warmer clothes in newborn and 0-3 month sizes because March is “suppose to” be cold. I also found out that even though Hunter is technically “0” that doesn’t mean 0-3 will fit him, most things are too big yet. On the other hand I did have some short sleeve onesies that say 3-6months and they seem to fit him just fine. It’s so confusing! He has such cute clothes and I want him to be able to wear them all! I also worry that he’s too hot or too cold!

Also, not all diapers are created equal! We were give a TON of diapers at one of my showers in several different brands. One particular brand just does not work for us! They ALWAYS leak and I end up changing Hunter and my clothes several times a day! With a lack of options for both of us and little time to do laundry this is not helpful! I am glad that we got try so many different brands for free before figuring out which ones we liked.

Play mat time!

I’m also learning to do things on my own. Brian went back to work this week and he was my right hand man getting chores done and making me meals each day. It’s been kind of tricky and I often times find myself sucking down a smoothie super fast for breakfast but I’ve managed. I really appreciate it when a friend offers to stop by and bring lunch though!

We also took Hunter on his first trip to the grocery store. Things started out fine. He was content and looking around from his car seat that we placed in the cart. Then I had to go to a different part of the store and Brian took the cart. As I started heading back towards where Brian and Hunter were I heard this terrible crying and I new it was my little boy! I rushed over and pulled him out of the car seat holding him close to me. He immediately calmed down and fell asleep. Guess next time I’ll bring him in a front pack or just stay home!

Rocking with Dad!

One final new mom adventure was that I attended a support group at the hospital where I delivered Hunter called “Balance After Baby” It’s for new moms and you are welcome to bring your babies with. I decided to join this group because I needed to get out of the house and don’t feel comfortable bringing Hunter with me to most places or even leaving him with someone. It is also nice to talk with other new moms about their experiences. There was only one other mom in attendance and she had 3 week old twins! I plan on attending weekly if I can.

I guess that is all for now! Hunter is down for a nap and I think I might regret not taking one too!

Live in babysitter!

Hello there! Forgive me for not writing much but I’m sure you will understand that we have been VERY busy over here adjusting to life with our new addition! To say that this new “normal” will take some getting use to would be a HUGE understatement and I must be honest it has been very overwhelming at times. For over nine months I knew that my life was going to change but I had no idea just how much or what life with a newborn would be like. Fortunately I have many good friends who have shared their advice with me for getting through these first couple of rough weeks. And they all tell me that you forget these tough times that’s why nobody ever really talks about it. I thought I would write about some of the things I don’t think anyone tells you about being a new mom.

1. You will fall even MORE in love with you husband!

Brian has been absolutely AMAZING! Not only has he taken over the house work (they told me I couldn’t do house work for a month!) as well as taking care of meals but he is so fun to watch with Hunter. I know that Brian did not have  a lot of experience with babies, in fact he never changed a diaper before Hunter. To see him cuddle and interact with Hunter just melts my heart!

2. You will cry…A LOT! I don’t think a day has gone by in the last two weeks that I haven’t cried. Most of the time I cry tears of happiness just looking at my little guy. I think about how long we waited for him and I am overcome with joy at this perfect little creature that is mine.

Other times I cry because I am just overwhelmed with how my life has changed, how I don’t feel like “myself” anymore I am just waiting for life with Hunter to feel “normal.” I also cry because I am frustrated and don’t know what to do for my baby. So yeah, lots of crying, not to mention my hormones are going CRAZY of course!

3. Breastfeeding is HARD! I have had some trouble with breastfeeding and right now it is causing me the most  frustration. Basically, when we were in the hospital Hunter had a hard time latching on so the nurse suggested a nipple shield. They then told me that because I was using a shield I would need to pump to help my milk come in and keep up my supply. They said to pump 3-4 times a day and suggested seeing a lactation consultant once we left the hospital. We did and they observed that Hunter did not gain enough weight so they suggested pumping after EVERY feeding except for maybe one at night. We feed Hunter what I pump from the previous session from a bottle. They also told me I HAVE to fee him every three hours. Well, it seems every three hours he is sleeping! By the time I wake him up, get him to nurse, have Brian feed him the bottle, AND pump it takes about an hour. Then we only have 2 hours until the next session. I feel tethered to our house since pumping is so exposing. Honestly I wouldn’t mind nursing in public but I can’t really pump in public. Plus it makes it hard to invite people over knowing we have to go through this whole feeding regime.

4. You will not sleep. PERIOD.

Before I got pregnant I thoroughly enjoyed a good night’s sleep of at least 8 hours. I was pretty regimented about making sure I got a healthy amount of sleep. When I was pregnant my sleep patterns definitely changed and I thought that they were preparing me for when the baby arrived but I was wrong! I think most new moms experience not sleeping because their newborn wakes them up to feed. I on the other hand have to wake mine up to feed. I set my alarm clock twice in the middle of the night and once for early morning to get him up for a feeding. It about kills me to have to wake him up from a peaceful slumber not to mention I am half awake myself. I am hoping once our breast feeding situation improves I can let him feed on demand, which probably means he’ll start waking me up in the middle of the night!

5. You will feel an INCREDIBLE amount of love for this tiny little creature that is dependent on you.

Despite this challenging time I am so in love with this little guy! When times get tough all I have to do is look at this face and remember how worth it will be. I think about his future and wonder what kind of little boy, teenager, adult he will grow up to be and remember that this is just a short moment in time that I need to enjoy.

With that I must sign off as there is a cuddly little boy asleep on my chest who needs some love’n!

Thanks for hanging in there and reading all the details of Hunter’s birth! Here is the final installment! If you missed it check out Part 1 and Part 2

Sure enough, it was about 3 hours later when I actually moved into the next stage of labor. I continued to get through each contraction laboring on the birthing ball (just an exercise ball) and hanging over the bed. The pain in my back was INSANE. It felt like the muscles in my back were being torn apart. They applied cold and and heat and Amanda and Brian massaged my back. There were times when I said I couldn’t do it any more but in my head I knew there really was not other choice. Brian and the nurses were so patient with me and encouraged me through each contraction. I feel like that this point my body was taken over by some other force. I moaned and sometimes screamed through each one and tried to rest in between in silence. At one point I knew I had to push!

They got me back into the bed and explained to me how to push. I’m sure if you’ve watched the Baby Story or have had a baby yourself you know that they tell you to bear down like you are having a bowel movement. To me this just sounded so weird because I know that’s not where babies come out! It took me awhile to get the hang on it but once I did I totally understood what they meant. You use each contraction to push the baby down and out and when I did it correctly I could feel it. I pushed in the bed in the “traditional” way you see women push, I pushed while sitting on the toilet, and I pushed using a bar across the bed in a squatting position. I was suppose to push at least three times with each contraction. I would close my eyes an focus inward at where they were telling me to push. It was like no workout I had ever done in my life. After my three (or more) pushes I would collapse on the bed and breath while sweat rolled down my face. I would only speak in a whisper only when necessary and then do it again. Brian was there wiping my forehead and giving me drinks of water. The nurses continued to cheer me on and told me to visualize my son coming out on one push at a time. It was so hard. Again something beyond myself took over my body and the doubts I had that I could actually do this disappeared. I just kept doing what I knew I had to do in order to finally meet my baby. When I saw the midwife come in I knew we were almost there. As we neared the end the worst part was the pressure I would feel at the end of each pushing session it was very painful and the midwife just kept saying, “Let that baby come down.” At one point they took the bar away from me and I knew we were REALLY close. I looked at the midwife after a pushing session and gasped, “How many more?” she held up 3 fingers and I knew I could do this . Well, the next time it was time to push it felt really different and they told me to slow down. I really can’t recall if I felt the “ring of fire” but I knew I had to stop pushing and then before I knew it I had brought a new life into this world! They told me to open my eyes and I saw the grey little cone shaped body that was my son. They put him on my chest, he began to cry and I looked at the most amazing beautiful site I had ever seen. I just kept saying, “I can’t believe you’re here! I can’t believe we did this! You’re mine, you’re all mine. We’ve been waiting so long long for you!” I was honestly in some type of euphoric shock. I had no idea what was going on with the rest of the delivery but I didn’t care. The miracle I had been waiting for for three years and nine months was here! My son was here and my life was changed forever!

It was a really hard, painful, and challenging experience but totally worth it! Even though it was not my intention to have a natural birth I am really proud that I did it. We conceived this baby naturally, which is something we didn’t know if we would be able to do, labor started naturally which I wasn’t sure was going to happen so it felt complete to deliver naturally. I can’t say enough good things about the nurses at Gundersen Lutheran during labor and delivery as well as my postpartum care. I have a whole new respect and admiration for the nursing profession. It really was a beautiful experience, something I hope to remember and cherish forever!

Hello again! I didn’t want to leave you hanging so here is part 2 of Hunter’s birth story. If you missed it you can find part 1 here! We left off with Brian and I driving to the hospital it get checked and see if I was really in labor.

Now, the hospital is only 10 minutes from our house and in the time it took to drive there I had two contractions. My biggest fear at this point was that it wasn’t true labor and they wouldn’t omit me. I was also a little scared because these contractions were pretty painful and if this wasn’t real labor I didn’t want to know what was! I also had two contractions from the time it took to walk from our car to the 5th floor of the hospital.

We checked into Labor and Delivery and found out that the midwife I had been seeing, Tracy, was on call but would be done at 7:00am (it was now about 5:00am). They led us to a room and the nurse told me she could tell that I was having a lot harder time getting through the contractions than I did when she talked to me on the phone. She said that because I was over due I would definitely be omitted no matter where I was at in the labor, I was definitely going to have this baby! Tracy checked me and I was 4cm dilated and 100% effaced. Quite the change from Wednesday and she was pleased. After that things got a little blurry. They officially omitted me and got an IV going. Then the next shift of nurses took over and I met Amanda and Connie the two women who would help me bring this baby into the world.

Immediately they guided me through contractions helping me to focus and breath. I knew these ladies were going to be awesome when I got a little panicking about having a blood draw (since I usually faint when I feel normal) and Amanda grabbed my hand and had me tell her about our baby’s room. She knew just what to say to keep me calm and focused.

I told them I was having pain in my back when I contracted so they suggested I get into the big Jacuzzi tub. It felt pretty good to be in the warm water with the jets but the contractions were getting more and more painful. I don’t know how I knew how to do this but I started making low moaning tones each time I had one. I had read that contractions were like strong menstrual cramps. Uh…..no! Much more painful. They definitely felt like waves of pain, I could start to feel one come on and it would build to almost an unbearable level and then come back down. I labored alone for awhile in the tub. At one point Brian came in with tears in his eyes. He said it was so hard to know that I was in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it. I reassured him that this was pain with purpose and I would get through it. Amanda came in and did some guided imagery with me and also massaged my back. The contractions were still very painful but it helped me to get through each one.

Now, I had never said that I wanted an undedicated birth. I didn’t know how labor would feel or what my pain tolerance was. My “plan” was to see how I felt and then decide if I wanted or needed some type of help. After laboring in the tub for about two hours I asked Amanda if I could be checked and possibly get an epidural because I didn’t know how much longer I could handle the pain. She said sure.

I got out of the tub and into the bed. I’m not even sure how far a part the contractions were but I remember it was hard to move or do anything once they hit. Connie checked me and said joyfully that I was 9cm dilated and assured me I was having this baby soon. At this point it was 9:00am. They even started getting “the cart” out which they said meant we were close. Knowing that it would be soon I thought I could do it without the epidural and I think at that point it was too late to get one any way. The midwife, Carlene, who actually grew up in the neighborhood next to mine, came in to check me. She said yes I was at 9cm but I could tell by her face that it would be awhile before I moved on to the next stage of labor…pushing.

Wow! Despite the craziness that living with a newborn is we are managing to get into some semblance of routine, even allowing me to write this post that has been floating around in my head for almost a week.

When I was pregnant I enjoyed reading about other people’s birth stories since giving birth was something I had never experienced. A warning that I am about to share some of the gory details so if reading about labor and delivery is not your thing I suggest you stop reading and come back another time Mainly I want to write this post for myself so that I can try and remember what an amazing experience bringing a life into the world was so if you care to share in the journey read on!

It’s actually really hard for me to believe that a week ago I technically went into labor. If you recall I had visited the midwife on Wednesday and had my membranes stripped. I woke up Thursday and went about my normal routine. If I recall, I went to the YMCA and swam 20 laps, did some light cleaning at home, relaxed in front of the TV while knitting, and read for a few hours. I remember that the cramping had gotten stronger and what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions also were stronger and felt a little different. Yet, I still didn’t really think it was labor. Brian came home, cooked me dinner and my mom even stopped by to drop a few things off. I remember that while she was here a few of the contractions felt pretty uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was sit down.  Brian and I watched our favorite Thursday night shows and he even went out to get ice cream so we could have ice cream sundaes. At one point while we were watching TV he looked over at me and said, “Are you ok? You don’t look so good.” I was pretty casual about it and said, “I’m fine just one of those “fake contractions” were a little strong.

We went to bed kind of early because honestly I wasn’t feeling too well. Well, I absolutely could not sleep the contractions were getting more uncomfortable and I even found myself breathing through them. I kept an eye on the clock and realized they were coming about every 5-7minutes. At one point I got up to use the bathroom and thought that my water had broken. It was about 11:00pm on Thursday so we decided to call the hospital and chat with a nurse. She suggested taking a bath and if it was real deal the contractions would continue to get stronger and if it was false labor they would slow down. Well, they got stronger. I tried to sleep, I tried to lay on the couch and at one point I was overcome with pain. It was now about 4:00am Friday morning. We called the nurse again and she suggested coming in. I  clearly recall shutting our back door looking back at our dog Izzy looking confused and distraught in her kennel and thinking that my life was about to change forever! Stay tuned for part 2!

Hey friends! Just thought I’d pop in for a quick on while Hunter sleeps. There are so many things that I want to write about! Like Hunter’s birth story. Delivering a baby was seriously an amazing experience and I hope I can remember all the feelings and drama I went through and share some of it with you. I also want to write about these first few days adjusting to life with a newborn. It is REALLY overwhelming and I feel like for right now my whole world consists of this new little human I’m in charge of and my husband. Because of adjusting to this “new normal” when I do get a moment of free time I know that I NEED to sleep so eventually I will get around to writing these posts. For now here are some photos from our first few days with Hunter James. I will say that I am most overwhelmed by the amount of love I feel for my son. My heart is overflowing!

Skin to skin contact and the AMAZING labor and delivery nurse Amanda who helped me through delivery!

Our new family, just minutes old!

Getting weighed!

Baby feet!

First bath!

Proud Grandparents!

Jon and Raina’s first nephew!

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We are so happy Baby Sneaker is finally here!