I am writing this post in honor of my dad who would have turned 66 this past Tuesday. It has been a month since his passing and as expected I sometimes find it hard to believe that I will never see him in this lifetime again. In reality even though I live in the same town as my parents in the past months (years?) I did not see my dad very regularly. Over the past seven years his health had been declining and he did not want his kids to see him in this failing state. He wanted us to remember him as he was: the fun, loveable dad who was always up for an adventure. Even though I did not see him frequently I still find myself thinking, “I wish I could ask dad about that,” or “I wonder if dad has heard about that.” Not having lost someone this close to me in a long time I’m not use to these thoughts but I am sure they will last for awhile, maybe even forever.
My dad was such a good father and I was daddy’s little girl all the way! I think if he could have he would have given me the moon!
He wanted to give my brother and I the kind of life he could only have dreamed of. He liked to expose us to things that the “average” person wouldn’t have done like SCUBA diving and down hill skiing. This meant we took lots of trips to fun places like Cozumel, Colorado, Vancouver and many more places.
We also took many many family vacations to Disney World. I have to admit when I traveled there a few years ago without my parents I really missed them! Disney World is connected to family in my mind. We had so many experiences there as a family and mad such good memories.
I know that dad had a hard time watching me grow up and he wanted me to stay his little girl forever. I remember when I was in 8th grade and I decided to redecorate my room AND got contacts within the same week. He was so sad that I was growing up!
I know he would have really liked it if I had grown up to be an opera singer. When I was younger I felt like I had disappointed him by choosing a different path. I know that he was proud of me and that he just wanted me to use my gifts and talents.
For all the important events in my life and even the not so important ones my dad was there with a video and a still camera in hand (or he hired someone like at my wedding!). I think I get my love of capturing life from him. He was so proud of everything I did.
(I’m pretty sure this is a picture of us using a self timer on a camera he gave me).
I miss him so much! But the hardest part for me is knowing that my kids won’t have him as a grandpa. He would have been such an awesome grandpa!
It was hard for me to see him suffering both physically and emotionally with his medical problems. I could see in his eyes how sad he was that he couldn’t be the kind of grandpa he wanted to be. I find comfort in the fact that he is now at peace and I look forward to the day when I will be united with him again.
I will always love you daddy!
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